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Episode Description: Edit

Discussed herein:

  • Facial Hair!
  • Beheadings!
  • Family lovin!
  • And more!

Intro Clip: Edit

There is no intro clip for the first episode.

Show Notes:Edit

There is no funny clip to start the podcast, and Red does not introduce the show as "Boars, Gore, and Swords" - Red and Ivan just immediately start discussing the TV show, episode 1.

- Red votes for the "advisor to the Targaryens" (Illyrio) as his favorite facial hair of the show, as he is pulling off the beard-braids better than the guy from Anthrax. Ivan points out that Robert Baratheon also has great facial hair, and is a great "scene and food chewer."

- Red infamously decides that the podcast can use any curse words that the show does, which turns out to not be limiting in the slightest.

- Red and Ivan are confused as to who the "other Stark son" is (aka Theon), but are pretty sure that Cersei and Jaime are responsible for Jon Arryn's death.

- Red calls the show a "movie" for the first (but not last) time.


Red's first-ever use of "That is exactly what is happening now." (15 seconds in)

"If you're watching this show just for the thrones, you will not be disappointed." - Ivan

"What if Stannis Baratheon is played by Larry the Cable Guy?" - Ivan

"I was like, oh, they made a movie out of World of Warcraft. 'Winterfell,' seriously?" - Red

"What's the queen's name again? We really need, like, a glossary." - Ivan

"I love this show so much because it's so committed to hard fantasy. Like, absolute: sword, tit, dragon, blood! Sword, tit, dragon, blood! Like if there were death metal playing." - Ivan

The Dothraki at the wedding are "basically re-enacting the original version of West Side Story. Jets versus Sharks. Lotta Puerto Ricans, and, uh, a lotta boobs." - Red

"I wanna nominate all the tits in this show for Best Ensemble Cast." - Ivan

On the show's "undercurrent of rape": "Ugh, pretty much, you need a boat to survive that - it's like a flood, of rape, that covers the entire lands, and if you're gonna stay dry, you need a rape boat." - Red

"Where can we get the best maggots for our money?" - Ivan

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