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Episode Description: Edit
- Facial Hair!
- Family lovin!
- And more!
Intro Clip: Edit
There is no intro clip for the first episode.
There is no funny clip to start the podcast, and Red does not introduce the show as "Boars, Gore, and Swords" - Red and Ivan just immediately start discussing the TV show, episode 1.
- Red votes for the "advisor to the Targaryens" (Illyrio) as his favorite facial hair of the show, as he is pulling off the beard-braids better than the guy from Anthrax. Ivan points out that Robert Baratheon also has great facial hair, and is a great "scene and food chewer."
- Red infamously decides that the podcast can use any curse words that the show does, which turns out to not be limiting in the slightest.
- Red and Ivan are confused as to who the "other Stark son" is (aka Theon), but are pretty sure that Cersei and Jaime are responsible for Jon Arryn's death.
- Red calls the show a "movie" for the first (but not last) time.
Red's first-ever use of "That is exactly what is happening now." (15 seconds in)
"If you're watching this show just for the thrones, you will not be disappointed." - Ivan
"What if Stannis Baratheon is played by Larry the Cable Guy?" - Ivan
"I was like, oh, they made a movie out of World of Warcraft. 'Winterfell,' seriously?" - Red
"What's the queen's name again? We really need, like, a glossary." - Ivan
"I love this show so much because it's so committed to hard fantasy. Like, absolute: sword, tit, dragon, blood! Sword, tit, dragon, blood! Like if there were death metal playing." - Ivan
The Dothraki at the wedding are "basically re-enacting the original version of West Side Story. Jets versus Sharks. Lotta Puerto Ricans, and, uh, a lotta boobs." - Red
"I wanna nominate all the tits in this show for Best Ensemble Cast." - Ivan
On the show's "undercurrent of rape": "Ugh, pretty much, you need a boat to survive that - it's like a flood, of rape, that covers the entire lands, and if you're gonna stay dry, you need a rape boat." - Red
"Where can we get the best maggots for our money?" - Ivan